Farmer tony and the squirrels

This is a story about Farmer Tony, squirrels and Farmer Tony's garden.  Now I just can't believe that squirrels would be mean and especially why they would want to be so mean to Farmer Tony?  He is such a nice man, so if the squirrels had been nice to him, he would have been nice to them too.  Farmer Tony never hit any squirrels with the stick he waved around to chase them away.  He would never want to hurt any of them.  He just wanted to scare them so they would leave his garden alone. They already spoiled much of his crop by knocking vegetables off their vines so when they hit the ground they would break open and rot.  Farmer Tony didn't even care if they ate the vegetables, but to just let them spoil on the ground was not a nice thing to do.  At first, he had allowed a few squirrels to be in his garden, but then there got to be just way too many.  They have taken over the whole garden. They not only caused most of the vegetables to spoil, they also ate most of his apples and oranges in his orchard. The whole orchard and garden was no good to anybody and it was all because of those squirrels.  When he walked into his garden  this morning, the first thing he saw was more opened vegetables laying on the ground.  He went into the orchard and saw that the trees were almost bare because the squirrels had knocked so much fruit off the branches.  He was finally to the point of wanting to get rid of them squirrels once and for all.  He just couldn't put up with them any longer.  He had it.  He took all that he could stand.

He went into the house, got cleaned up, got in his car and drove to his brother's farm.  His brother, Bob, had a nice farm.  He didn't have one single squirrel on his farm.  Bob was glad to see his brother Tony.  He gave him a hug and invited him to come into the house for a cup of coffee.  When they were sitting at the kitchen table having their coffee, Bob asked Tony if there was something that he wanted to talk about?  Tony said, "Yes there is," and he started to tell Bob about the squirrel problem.  Bob’s eyes opened up as big as the oranges.  Bob said, “This is terrible!  Something has to be done and done real soon.”  He then said, “Let me think on this and if I come up with any ideas, I will come over to your farm tomorrow to let you know what we can do about the squirrels.”  Tony thanked his brother and said, “Good night.  I'll see you tomorrow.”

The next morning Farmer Tony was sitting, drinking his coffee, in the rocker on his porch. As he sat there, one of the older squirrels looked up, saw Tony sitting there, then very loudly started chattering as if he was trying to call the other squirrels to come annoy Tony.  Squirrels came from all directions and soon a huge group of them were gathered in the yard, all staring at Tony. Tony was sure it was his imagination, but he could have sworn he heard them all laughing at him, but everyone knows squirrels can’t laugh, right?

All those squirrels were making Tony nervous, so he got up and was going back into his house when he saw his brother Bob coming down the driveway.  When Bob got out of the car, he was holding a big box.  They both walked into the kitchen and Bob put the box on the table.  Bob looked at Tony and said, “This should get rid of your pesky squirrels.”  Tony said he hoped so, then told Bob about how the squirrels gathered in the yard and seemed to be laughing at him.

 Bob proceeded to take a bunch of carrots and a big bottle of vinegar out of the box.  Bob got a sharp knife to cut the carrots, then he put them in a big bowl and poured the vinegar into the bowl.  It smelled really bad.  Bob said, “Don’t worry, the smell will go away in a few hours. The carrots will soak up all that vinegar and the smell will be gone.” Farmer Tony said, “I really hope so, cause it really smells bad.”  Bob smiled at his brother and said, “Make us a cup of coffee and we can sit out on the back porch to see if your squirrel friends come back to tease you.”  Tony said, “I hope it will be the last time that they do make fun of me!”  Bob said, “I think the teasing will end just as soon as they eat some of these carrots.”

A couple of hours passed and while the carrots were soaking up the vinegar, the squirrels were in the yard making plans to get into the garden.  Bob said, “Ok Tony, let’s go and get the squirrels’ special lunch.”  Tony laughed as he went into the kitchen to get the bowl of carrots.  He brought the bowl out and handed it to Bob who walked over to the garden fence.  He then threw handfuls of the vinegar carrots around the vegetable plants, then went back to sit on the porch with Tony to see if the squirrels would try to eat the carrots.  They didn’t have to wait long.  A big group of squirrels snuck under the garden fence and picked up the carrots.  When they got a whiff of the vinegar carrots, the smell not only made them sick, it scared them so much that  they ran as far away from Farmer Tony's yard as they could get.  Tony said, “That is great, Bob.  Now let’s hope it will work any time they decide to come back into my yard.”  Bob said, “I am sure it will work every time. The vinegar will keep smelling for a long time too.”  Tony said, “Thank you Bob! I hope this will work.”

Every so often Farmer Tony would throw more vinegar carrots in his garden and orchard, but the squirrels never came back to destroy his crop or to tease him.  Tony was so happy he could sit on his rocker and read his paper with no squirrels running around his backyard.  A couple of days later, while he was in the yard raking out some weeds, a little baby squirrel came up to him and sat down right in front of his rake.  Tony said, “Hi baby squirrel! Where is your mommy or daddy?  You are too young to be by yourself. You need to go home before it gets too dark.”  Tony went into his cellar to put his rake away and when he turned to come out, the baby squirrel was standing right there again.  Tony said, “Come now, it is getting dark.  You  have to go home.”  Tony walked up his stairs, opened his kitchen door and when he went to close it, there was the little baby squirrel sitting there just looking up at him.  Tony said, “Well, I guess I am going to have to keep you for the night.”  Tony got a box and an old blanket to make a nice bed for the little one.  He put the box right next to his bed so he could hear if the squirrel tried to get out of the box.  The squirrel was very relaxed and before long fell fast asleep. 

The next morning, Tony got up and there, just sitting in the box was the baby squirrel.  That made Tony smile.  He said, “I bet you are hungry.”  The little squirrel looked up into Tony's  eyes.  Tony said, “OK,  you win.  I will make you some breakfast.”  Tony wondered, what do you feed a baby squirrel?  I never had to feed one before.  He thought to himself that all babies love milk, so that’s what he gave the baby squirrel.  He heated it a little, put it in a little bowl and the little squirrel drank the whole thing.  Tony said, “Boy you were hungry!  I will give you more at lunch time.”

Every day Tony would take the squirrel out in the yard and hope that the squirrel's mother or father would come to take him home, but a week went by and not one other squirrel came into the yard.  Bob's vinegar carrots were still keeping all the squirrels out of the yard.  Farmer Tony realized that the baby squirrel must have been left behind when all the squirrels ran off because of the vinegar carrots. He felt he might be the reason the little squirrel was left behind. He picked the baby squirrel up and said, “I am afraid that you are going to have to stay with me.  It is going to get real cold pretty soon and you can't stay out in the cold.  You are just going to have to live with me.  I know I was trying to get rid of squirrels, but I think I will like having you with me.  I hope that you will like being here too.”  Farmer Tony gently petted the little squirrel and said, “I am going to have to give you a name.  I’m thinking a good name for you would be Baby.”  Farmer Tony looked at the little squirrel who was just laying in his arms.  Baby looked very comfortable.  Farmer Tony said, “Come on little Baby, let’s go have some dinner, watch a little tv, then go to bed.”

Baby got a lot bigger as the years went by.  The two of them were very happy together and they were great company for one another.  Baby had the whole yard to run around in and play with all the toys Farmer Tony bought.  He enjoys sitting on the porch in his rocker, watching Baby play and the little squirrel  doesn’t care about going into the garden or orchard one bit because Farmer Tony gives her all the food she wants.  The backyard was back to normal.  Farmer Tony doesn’t mind having only one squirrel, but a hundred of them was way out of hand, so if any of those other squirrels think about coming back, he will just throw out some more vinegar carrots.  Tony had his brother Bob to thank for helping him chase them away.   So if you ever have a mob of squirrels you are trying to get rid of, get yourself some vinegar carrots - they work every time!